Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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