i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.