The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize