I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
