she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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