my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
