an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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