You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
