So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
