you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
