and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I will pee on everything he values.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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