Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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