Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
