i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
