just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
