Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
