He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
