every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
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She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize