There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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