he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
