Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
