I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
