I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
