I'm drive I can fine osifer
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
