We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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