So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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