I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
