Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
