Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
