She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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