last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your topless pictures make me question reality
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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