she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
