Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
