thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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