from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
