Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
