dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
