fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
