so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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