Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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