btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
