I cockslap morals
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
