I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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