She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
