But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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