I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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