i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
