She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
