This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize