One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
