Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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