thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
