you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
