Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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