i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
