dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
