Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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