i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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