Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
