Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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