Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
