So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
