if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
