I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My vagina is officially offended.
My dick has a subreddit
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
