I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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