In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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