Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i came on her dog
Hippo gnu deer
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
