Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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